Copyrights reserved by the author. If you are in doubt, please click on 'Copyrights' and read the details.The monster on my ear called the cell-phone By J. G. Fabiano How I hate my cell phone. Let me count the ways. What started out as a simple means of communication has turned out to be a monster in my pocket. I can’t get rid of the damned thing because it has become an integral part of my life even though it has changed the way I run my life forever. When cell phones first came out they were big and clumsy. My first experience with the phone was when I owned a restaurant in York Beach. The name of the restaurant was ‘Gewappis’ but that is a whole other story. I remember proudly walking through the restaurant with this foot long, three-inch wide black monolith hoping someone would call me so the people in my restaurant would clearly understand how important I was. The problem was when the phone did ring it rarely worked so I would then have to make up a conversation in order to not look like the fool I was trying to be. Then the cell-phone did what all new technology does. It got smaller and more powerful. My first real cell phone came a few years later. I was able to actually put it in my pocket without the antenna sticking up catching everything I passed. I once knocked over a flower filled vase because the antenna of my now always-present cell-phone caught the tablecloth as I passed. My mother still reminds me this was her favorite vase. The first cell-phone never sounded like conventional phones. The phones of our past connected to our walls by that always present cord had a distinctive ring to them. The first cell phones had a distinctive techno ring to them. One never had a choice as to what the sound was but like the ring of the old phones one got used to them. When it became obvious the cell-phone was about to take over our lives the new companies started to create their own tone in order to be separated from their competitors. Like everything else in our lives the cell-phone evolved. The phones got smaller and smaller with today’s phones looking like a thick business card. The first major change in the phone was having a cap attached to them so when you got a call you could show the world your importance by taking it out of your pocket, extending your arm, and flipping the top off the phone in order to hear and be heard. At the end of the conversation you flipped the cover back over the phone so everyone could hear the sound of the snap in order to show everyone your conversation had ended. In other words, the age of privacy was about to end. At first all adults had to have a cell-phone. My excuse was it was a good emergency tool in that if I ever got in an accident or was taken prisoner by some alien I would have the capacity to call for help and thus save my life. I was never asked to join any space ship and the only time I used the gadget was when I had to contact my wife because I was late for where I was supposed to be. This craze like all crazes evolved into becoming the newest of toys for our children. All children love toys. But, this particular toy was accepted with a vengeance. In real life I teach and I do not know of any of my students who do not own a cell-phone. The school states all phones have to be shut off during the day but it is obvious they all have one. At first it used to be the older students who had cell phones but now I see sophomore and freshman students proudly carry this means of communication. After the cell-phone condensed itself down to where men could wear it on their belts and women could carry them in their smallest purses the machine started to morph into other directions. It was no longer just a means of communication. It now became a means of distraction. The first thing it did was change its tone. The ring became a happy sound in which the owner could relate because a friend or family member was calling. But then the becoming more powerful cell-phone companies made a brilliant move. They made it possible for the owner to change his or her tone. This meant all areas of our lives were filled with different metal techno sounds that tried to copy classical music, show tunes, and pop music. The ‘rings’ of today’s cell-phone now has real music spewing out of them and even the sound of people’s voices screaming that there is someone on the other end of the line. The serenity of our lives was being replaced by the chaos of yet another necessary piece of technology. The phone continued its evolution by becoming so much more then just a phone. It became a computer game in which while one was waiting for someone to call he or she could play a computer game on its small and soon to be colorful screen. It became a means of listening to music either by tuning into another new technology called ‘satellite radio’ or by listening to music that had been earlier downloaded on the pc that is now found in every home in America. The cell-phone became the newest video game and an ‘i-pod’ all in one. I actually thought the cell phone had evolved as far as it could because what else could something the size of a business card do? Well, I was wrong. The cell-phone became the newest of ways one could destroy the security and privacy of others. It became a ‘Get Smart’ like spy device that could take one’s picture without the person knowing it was being taken. It not only took the picture but it also had the capacity to send it all over the world through the world-wide-web. A flash was sometimes necessary but with today’s spectacular technology a flash is a thing of the past. The still pictures then became movies in which the owner of the cell phone could record an unsuspecting victim doing things they thought they were doing in private. Nothing is considered sacred or private anymore. The cell-phone changed what we always thought would never change. Cell-phones were then distorted into geographic devices attached to satellites circling our planet in which tiny chips could be implanted telling anyone who had the capacity to be connected to the phone the ability to track the person anywhere in the world. The loss of security and privacy evolved into a loss of independence because there is no longer anywhere to hide. I know I must sound like the oldest of cavemen ridiculing all the technology that changed our lives. Walking through the Mall I notice few people whose head is not attached to something smaller then the palm of their hand. I smile because they look like psychotics condemned talking with themselves. I am sure the cell-phone will soon evolve so small it can me implanted into a place in our heads so all we have to do is hear a tone and then start to talk to someone who desperately needed to talk to us. I am sure it will evolve to the point all we have to do is grind a certain tooth so we can play a game only our imagination was able to produce before. I am also sure this monster in my pocket will tell me what to do and when to do it even though I will never know who is making the commands. My daughter came over the other day to visit. While we were talking I heard a sound of the past. Her cell-phone had an old style ring. I smiled as I watched her talk with someone who must be more important then me because this was the first time I observed this monster in my pocket de-evolve. The End.
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